It's ironic that as soon as I announce that I'm going to focus on "caring for the caregiver", life explodes all around me and keeps me from my faithful posting. Fear not, the distractions are now under better control and I will return to getting my posts up on a regular basis.
The good news is that most of life's distractions have not involved Jeanne's condition. For the most part. This past Monday, as I readied myself to give Jeanne her mid-day meds, I noticed that her feeding tube had popped out. Not a good thing. And so it was off to UCLA Medical Center for the day...in order to receive about 30 minutes of actual treatment when they put in a new feeding tube. Having lots of time on my hands, I was reminded of John Lennon's wise words -- "life's what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." I think that any family dealing with chronic illness knows how true this is.
The following day, Jeanne had to deal with some after-effects of her treatment. It wasn't a great day for her, but she's a fighter. By Wednesday, all was quiet once again.
If you've been following this narrative for a while, you already know that I continually struggle to find time for myself. And there's this 3-day trip to Las Vegas that's supposed to happen at the end of this month. It's been postponed many times before. I felt really committed to going this time. And then Jeanne's feeding tube popped out. And as we waited (and waited and waited and waited) in the Emergency Room, I had to ask myself, "What would happen if her feeding tube popped out while you were poolside in Las Vegas?" And those familiar pangs of guilt began to rise in my gut. And now I'm locked in this internal debate -- knowing that the healthiest thing in the world is for me to still make that trip, yet not feeling all that great about it.
So as of right now, the trip is still on. But I can'say I'm looking forward to it with unbridled enthusiasm. Stay tuned.
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