On October 19, I wrote a post called Heading Into the Holidays. My post opened with the observation that even though it was 75 degrees and sunny, the holidays were right around the corner and I was beginning to wonder how I would be spending what was once my favorite time of year but, with the ongoing progression of Jeanne's symptoms, had become a more muted season for me.
Well, Thanksgiving is less than a week away. And just as it was on October 19, it's 75 degrees and sunny as I write this. And I still have very mixed feelings about the upcoming holiday season. In fact, the only difference between how I'm feeling now and how I felt back on October 19 is that several weeks have come and gone.
My first thought about Thanksgiving was that I would probably spend it with friends. But invitations haven't quite come pouring in. And I can completely understand that. Of all the holidays, Thanksgiving is often the one that's reserved for family, and lots of my close friends are focused on spending time with family this year. I get it.
Plan B was that, for the first time ever, I was going to pick up a prepared Thanksgiving meal from a local restaurant or supermarket. I had some fun comparing the different feasts being offered around town. I finally made a decision about where my Thanksgiving meal would be coming from. And then I told Jeanne.
I've learned that even though Jeanne is dealing with some serious cognitive issues, she is most "present" in the morning. Unfortunately, by the end of the day Jeanne is in a very different state...something her neurologist tells me is called sundowning. Not an unusual state of affairs. Just an unfortunate one. So I make sure that I talke to Jeanne every morning -- especially if there's anything I want her to process or offer an opinion on. And so one morning I let her know that since her swallowing issues would not allow her to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner (REMINDER: Since August, Jeanne receives her nutrition by way of a feeding tube), I wasn't going to cook this year. Instead, Thanksgiving was going to be a Take-Out affair.
Jeanne said, "That's not right...you love to cook. You should cook anyway...you'll have leftovers around. And you can sneak me some food!" As I thought about the way I might do the turkey or some of the side dishes I'd likely choose to cook, I found myself feeling pretty good. Jeanne was right. I love to cook, and I no longer give myself the opportunity. So I've adopted Plan C, courtesy of my wife. I'll be preparing a dinner that I'll probably enjoy over several days. But I'm betting that my greatest enjoyment will occur while I'm playing in the kitchen. And now I even find myself re-thinking the list of people that I know, wondering who might not have plans for Thanksgiving, because we'll have plenty of food to share.
My plan for next Thursday is to spend the morning in the kitchen, the next part of the day with my wife and then catch some sports on TV, enjoy some of my own cooking...and even sneak some food to the person I'm most thankful for having in my life.
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