Believe half of what you hear...but which half?

"Can you help me with this drink?" Jeanne asked.  A simple enough request.  Except Jeanne is still confined to a hospital bed, receives all of her nutrition (including all liquids) by way of a feeding tube and there was no drink anywhere to be seen.  Thinking that if I could force her to focus more intently on her request, she'd reason it out that she was having a "cognitive moment" and move on.  So I casually replied, "What drink are you talking about?"  And her answer made my heart skip a beat.  "This one.  In front of me." 

It happened two days ago.  I became aware for the first time that Jeanne was now not only having cognitive challenges, but was -- at least some of the time -- living in another world.  And I was not going to be a part of that world. 

There are plenty of caregivers who deal with dementia on a daily basis.  And I bow to each of them.  I don't know that I can accurately portray the emotional impact that one of these conversations can have on a loved one.  And I'm sure that, like everything else, repetition makes you better at dealing with it.  But for now, it's new territory for me to integrate into my caregiving duties.  And so far, the terrain is incredibly bumpy.

Comments

[Sheryl]

I can really grasp this situation as my husband forgets what day it is, what time of day it is, what month and season we are in...and most recently where the bedroom was. It's starting.