Three years ago, I had lunch with someone who had lost their wife to MS. This very kind person was willing to share a variety of moments -- good and bad -- that he had spent with his wife toward the end of her life. I came away from this very well-intended conversation in a state of shock. I found myself horrified at some of the personal choices he had made. I felt sure I would never wander down the same path. After all, based upon what I had just heard, I was just a hundred times more compassionate...more understanding...more of a caregiver than he ever was! Or so I thought.
Here I am, three years later, making many of the same choices that my lunch companion had made. Here I am, three years later, just beginning to appreciate the message that he tried to share with me that day. Here I am, three years later, feeling as though I have more in common with him today than I did three years ago. So what's changed? Many things. Jeanne is at a different point in the progression of her MS. I have been a caregiver for 3 more years. Most importantly, I think, I'm just at a different point in my journey as a caregiver and spouse. And the view has changed.
As some of you read my recent posts about whether or not I should plan a trip to Las Vegas, you may be thinking, "How can he even consider...?!" You may be thinking, "What kind of a guy...?!" All I can do is let you know that I completely understand how you're currently feeling...and maybe I even understand how some of you will feel one day...three years from today. When the view has changed.
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